me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
