Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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