This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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