they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
