He asked to "fluff my boner.."
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize