I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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