ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
