Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
