I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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