she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dignity is for republicans.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
