don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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