My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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