ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
