So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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