My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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