We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
