what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
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He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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