is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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