hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
