i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
