i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
