sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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