i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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