Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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