i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
