but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
