I think I died a long time ago.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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