her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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