There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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