Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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