for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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