At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i think my cat just said my name.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
