9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm always down for nudity.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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