so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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