mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
