Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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