Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
