Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we're making bets on your personal life
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
