I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
