THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
