If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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