No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
