i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
