woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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