oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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