i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
