is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
