dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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