therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
