I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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