Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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