do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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