oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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