erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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