i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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