the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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