Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize