I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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